Sleepwalking Cliché

Published | Mace and Crown 2019

https://maceandcrown.com/1268/magazines/mace-crown-fall-2019/

My inflections quiver like, like, like

It hurts. I- I want you to understand that it hurts.

I’m having trouble sleeping

Having trouble eating

Having trouble thinking

I push against the broken door

Hoping the frame will cave in on me

It doesn’t.

I want to move forward

Shear will won’t fix anything

They are heavy

Like, like, like

Fuck, I wish I could think.

Like, the rain during a hurricane

I cling to… I can’t decide which word would be better

More conveniences are consumed.

I’m afraid

Like, like, like androphobia

Tell my non schizophrenic brain “I’m fine.”

Like, like, like the exhaustion is temporary. Normal.

Whispers cascade, tumble down my brain

I’m having trouble thinking

Having trouble eating

Having trouble sleeping

Sit alone, sit with the uneasy, uncomfortable

Heart death

Air suffocates my waterlogged lungs

Like, like, I can’t find the words to explain

Petrification of body numb silence

Screech into my mind

I will never hear you

We all die here.

Feeling light in the head

My bed is more comfortable than your friendless concern

Like, like, like

Relaxing more than just my suicidal self loathing

I don’t know how to- shhhhh.